December 18, 2007

Global WarNing


I was getting troubled by the fact that I hadn't posted anything original for a while. This is more of a soothing balm, than a panicky reaction. Or so I hope.

It is funny how we hope. Such an empty, flat word and yet so promising. Optimist Orgasm. We hope for so much, and often do so little about it. But then again, often so little is in our hands. This is turning into a bit of ramble. I think, I'll get straight to the point.

We, as humans today have much to hope for. The global mess we seem to have landed ourselves into, can only be 'hoped' to be cleared. I use the passive sense intentionally, with the safe knowledge that we humans won't actively do much for it. Global hem and haw.

In conversation with my father the other day, he (the eternal pessimist) suggested that the best years for the human race are essentially, past us. And for once, I found myself agreeing with his bleak outlook on Mankind 1.0. Peering into the futur-o-scope and into the 22nd century, it is difficult to see us thrive as we have for the last 4-5 centuries.

The good times can be said to have started around the 15th century AD, with the European Renaissance - times of great art and science. Literature and philosophy. Religion and architecture. Times of Michelangelo and Machiavelli. Of Galileo and Filippo Brunelleschi. Times that re-infused in our minds the great ideas of Plato, Cicero, Aristotle and Averroes - ideas about civilized society and the best that the human race could be.*Note(see below).

It doesn't take a history-buff to tell you that this was followed by the Industrial Revolution in the 17th AD.. blah.. technological advances.. blah.. mastery of the sea and Imperialsim.. blah.. World War I.. bang.. World War II.



The peak, according to him was 1950-2000 with constitutions, sovereignty, judicial systems and the equal'est' form of society, across the world. This is setting aside the gigantic leaps made in technology, communication, economic sciences, biogenetics and a superior knowledge about ourselves (perhaps one of current science's ultimate challenges, space aside). Opinions may differ about the timing of mankind's golden era but with today's global challenges of climate change, resource crunch- fuel, electricity and sheer space, facing us directly in the eye, only a fool would bet on the human race running into better times from here-on. At the risk of sounding like the friendly neighbourhood 'the-end-is-nigh' wacko - the end of the human race as we know it, is near. The ungrateful rape and plunder of the Blue Planet might cost us dear.

The crux of the problem lies with our inaction. Or in some cases, even non-acknowledgement. It is astonishing that we can still passionately debate, argue and fight over the causes and effects of the obvious degradation of our planet. Global warming is simply one of the more tangible and dramatic effects of our arrogant abuse. The whole truth is way scarier. Under-water tables, mangroves, drilled mountains, 'managed' rivers, coal and metal mining, effluents and waste. And let me not get started about the radioactive crap.

The simple and clear need of the day is for us to act as one and take on the BIG challenge of our age. We have it made as far as other aspects of our living are concerned, and plenty more headway is being made there. But fat lot of good that does, if there's no place to live on. Our planet is dying, and we know it. Man started it, and Nature will end it. Nature will survive, she's seen worse. It is the existence of Man that worries me, unless he magically comes to his senses, and acts swiftly and decisively - as one. Or so I hope.



*Note - Indophiles and Egyptologists might crib about their 'greater' (and earlier) cultures, but the truth remains that modern society is influenced more by European thought during the Renaissance, than by any other. Of course, European minds were open to Arabic ideas and philosophies, which in turn were partly influenced by Vedic thought. It may thus be argued, that European thought in the Renaissance period was a reflection of the finer ideas permeated through the history of mankind, coupled with original first-rate ideas generated by first-class European minds of the time.

December 17, 2007

Apes that write, start fires and play Pac-Man

Susan Savage-Rumbaugh asks whether uniquely human traits, and other animals' behaviors, are hardwired by species. Then she rolls a video that makes you think: maybe not. The bonobo apes she works with understand spoken English. One follows her instructions to take a cigarette lighter from her pocket and use it to start a fire. Bonobos are shown making tools, drawing symbols to communicate, and playing Pac-Man -- all tasks learned just by watching. Maybe it's not always biology that causes a species to act as it does, she suggests. Maybe it's cultural exposure to how things are done.





Susan Savage-Rumbaugh has made startling breakthroughs in her lifelong work with chimpanzees and bonobos, showing the animals to be adept in picking up language and other "intelligent" behaviours.


Other TEDTalks:

Richard Branson



Jan Chipchase - Principal Researcher, Nokia



Seth Godin (Great idea!)

The Essay



In this TNokia Telenor ad, a little girl reads her essay about the future, to the increasing consternation of adults around her.

World War II Colour Photos



WWII in Color website has the Internet’s largest collection of rare color photographs from World War II. This one above is a signed photo of the Flying Tigers in China.

Flying Tigers was a volunteer group of pilots and ground crew, recruited under a secret presidential order by US President Roosevelt to fight Japanese forces (under disguise that they’re part of the Chinese Air Force) before Japan attacked Pearl Harbor.






Sleeping Chinese


You may have heard the term "The Sleeping Giant" being applied to China, but as German photographer Bernd Hagemann found out, the term may actually have a more literal meaning: Chinese people can sleep anywhere, anytime!

Indeed Bernd has documented this phenomenon: Here’s a fantastic gallery of sleeping people in China, categorized as "hardsleepers" (those who sleep in pretty hardcore positions), "softsleepers" (who needs a little padding) and "groupsleepers" (those who sleep with friends, literally!)

December 16, 2007

234th anniversary of the Boston Tea Party

Every generation needs a new revolution.
- Thomas Jefferson

Boston - 16 Dec, 1773

December 01, 2007

Things I've learnt about the Blues..




1. Most blues begin “woke up this morning.”

2. “I got a good woman” is a bad way to begin the blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line. I got a good woman - with the meanest dog in town.

3. Blues are simple. After you have the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes. Sort of. Got a good woman with the meanest dog in town. He got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and he weighs about 500 pounds.

4. The blues are not about limitless choice.

5. Blues cars are Chevies and Cadillacs. Other acceptable blues transportation is Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Walkin’ plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin’ to die.

6. Teenagers can’t sing the blues. Adults sing the blues. Blues adulthood means old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. You can have the blues in New York City, but not in Brooklyn or Queens. Hard times in Vermont or North Dakota are just depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the blues.

8. You can’t have the blues in an office or a shopping mall; the lighting is all wrong.

9. The following colors do not belong in the blues:

a. violet
b. beige
c. mauve

10. Good places for the Blues:
a. the highway
b. the jailhouse
c. the empty bed

11.Bad places for the Blues:
a. Ashrams
b. Gallery openings
c. weekend in the Hamptons

12. Do you have the right to sing the blues?

Yes, if:
a. your first name is a southern state-like Georgia
b. you’re blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis.
d. you can’t be satisfied.

No, if:
a. you were once blind but now can see.
b. you’re deaf
c. you have a trust fund.

13. No one will believe it’s the blues if you wear a suit, unless you happen to be an old black man.

14. Neither Julio Iglesias nor Barbra Streisand can sing the blues.

15. If you ask for water and baby gives you gasoline, it’s the blues. Other blues beverages are:
a. wine
b. whiskey
c. muddy water

16.Blues beverages are NOT:
a. Any mixed drink
b. Any wine kosher for Passover
c. YooHoo

17. If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it’s blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is a blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, or being denied treatment in an emergency room. It is not a blues death if you die during a liposuction treatment.

18. Some Blues names for Women
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie

19. Some Blues Names for Men
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Lightning

20a. Persons with names like Sierra or Sequoia will not be permitted to sing the blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

20b. Other Blues Names (Starter Kit)
a. Name of Physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Asthmatic)
b. First name (see above) or name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi)
c. Last Name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)
Mix and Match

November 27, 2007

November 25, 2007

Look round..

November 21, 2007

Split imperils local language

An indigenous language in southern Mexico is in danger of disappearing because its last two speakers have stopped talking to one another.

The two elderly men in the village of Ayapan, Tabasco, have drifted apart, said Fernando Nava, head of the Mexican Institute for Indigenous Languages.

He used the example to draw attention to the threat to indigenous languages across Mexico.

More than 20 of these are under threat of extinction.

'Little in common'

Dr Nava played down reports of an argument between the two Ayapan residents, both in their 70s.

"We know they are not to say enemies, but we know they are apart. We know they are two people with little in common," he told the BBC News website.

"They are really personal reasons that they don't speak to each other. We don't have to think of a war."

The men are the only fluent speakers of their local version of the "Zoque" language.

Other languages from the same root are spoken in the Mexican states of Veracruz, Oaxaca and Chiapas.

The Zoque tribe is thought to descend from the Olmecas and its members are spread around the south of Mexico.

The indigenous languages institute is trying to encourage more local people to speak Ayapan Zoque, and hopes the two men will pass the language on to their families.

It is also being recorded.

"We hope in a few years to be talking about new speakers of the language," Dr Nava said.

Mexico is one of the countries in the world with the richest diversity of languages.

More than 350 indigenous languages are spoken within its territory.

According to the UN, one language disappears across the world every two weeks.

October 05, 2007

The Mother of all Tightrope walks!!

Footage of a Frenchman walking across (yes, ACROSS) the WTC Twin Towers, from a 1974 CBS News reel.. And walking is not all that he undertakes! Monsieur prances, lies down and plays the monkey.

You have to see it to believe it!



On a side-note, it's good to see the Twin Towers without any planes smashing into them!

happy 15

15 things that make me happy (in no particular order)..

1. vanilla with nuts and chocolate sauce (a brownie thrown in- makes me happier)

2. Seeing a happy child

3. seeing an elderly (read ancient) couple still in love with each other

4. a shot i'd never played before (or never thought i'd play) in the adrenaline rush of a match

5. an india win, especially a 'come-from-behind'. on the same note, a tendulkar straight drive still brings a smile to my face; or for that matter, a wasim beauty.

6. an sms/e-mail from a long lost friend

7. eye play with an attractive girl

8. technology - esp. the internet and the mobile phone

9. rock n roll, baby!

10. lush, and carefully thought out cinematic sequences. or better still, a great movie!

11. Friday evening exits from office.. yippee, yay!

12. competent customer service

13. an early goal in any football match i'm watching. or for that matter, a goal of beauty!

14. puns, crisp and witty writing. along the same line - a smart advertisement.

15. Hitting on a good movie just as it's about to start on any of the channels. Which probably happens in the worlds occupied by unicorns and Peter Pan.

October 03, 2007

Passing thought ...

when human relationships can commence with something as simple and natural as a kind word, a fleeting glance, a passing remark, the trace of a smile, an empathizing gesture or even an ear lent - why are so many people around the world lonely, and unable to make new friends? Why do so many of us prefer to hang out with the same old set of friends, with all the excess baggage?

Some of the most long-lasting friendships I've had, were borne out of the most hum-drum commonalities. Both of us happened to be tall; both were the first to head out of a boring lecture to the nearest cigarette shop, or even when both of us uttered similar simultaneous sarcastic ripostes to a profoundly stupid question - commonalities that aren't exactly earth-shaking.

The human mind is constantly aching for another mind to understand it - and maybe even appreciate it. The human need for love and understanding is boundless, and it is this need that propels people to get emotionally closer to their fellow human beings.

So where do we go wrong in touching more lives? Are we too averse to risking something as complicated as another human personality in our lives? Or maybe, the fear of rejection lurks too large in our minds. Or simply put, it is too inconvenient - and who has the time?

But, of course, we have all the time in the world to mope before, during and after a lonely evening.

September 23, 2007

When will they learn?

This is supposed to be an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the chief of naval operations, 10-10-95.

CANADIANS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

CANADIANS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

CANADIANS: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

CANADIANS: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

September 16, 2007

Fun with Logos

'Tobler' has been amongst my top chocolates for a while now, and melting on one of the big chunks the other day, I noticed a BEAR on the Matterhorn logo!

On that note, i decided to dig into toblerone a little more. The name comes from a portmanteau of the inventor's name (Theodore Tobler) and the Italian word for nougat (torrone). Each chunk of toblerone is supposed to be called an ALP (as it represents the matterhorn in shape). Toblerone was patented in 1909 in the Federal Institute for Intellectual Property in Bern, where Albert Einstein worked at the time. And about the hidden bear in the Toblerone Matterhorn logo- it supposedly represents the chocolate's home town of Bern.


Along the same lines- Check out the 'hidden' FedEx Arrow.



*nudge* - look between the 'E' and 'x'

June 24, 2007

June 17, 2007

A Rose by Any Other Name

By Umberto Eco
Translated by William Weaver

Guardian Weekly, January 16, 1994

There are writers who do not bother about their translations, sometimes because they lack the linguistic competence; some sometimes because they have no faith in the literary value of their work and are anxious only to sell their product in as many countries as possible.

Often the indifference conceals two prejudices, equally despicable: Either the author considers himself an inimitable genius and so suffers translation as a painful political process to be borne until the whole world has learned his language, or else the author harbours an "ethnic" bias and considers it a waste of time to care about how readers from other cultures might feel about his work.

People think an author can check his translations only if he knows the language into I which he is to be translated. Obviously, if he does know that language, the work proceeds more easily. But it all depends on the translator's intelligence. For example, I do not know Swedish, Russian, or Hungarian, and yet I have worked well with my translators into those languages. They were able to explain to me the kind of difficulties they faced, and make me understand why what I had written created problems in their language. In many cases I was able to offer suggestions.

The problem frequently arises from the fact that translations are either "source-oriented" or "target oriented," as today's books on Translation Theory put it. A source-oriented translation must do everything possible to make the B-language reader understand what the writer has thought or said in language A. Classical Greek affords a typical example: in order to comprehend it at all, the modern reader must understand what the poets of that age were like and how they might express themselves. If Homer seems to repeat "rosy-fingered dawn" too frequently, the translator must not try to vary the epithet just because today's manuals of style insist we should be careful about repeating the same adjective. The reader has to understand that in those days dawn had rosy fingers whenever it was mentioned.

In other cases translation can and should be target-oriented. I will cite an example from the translation of my novel Foucault's Pendulum whose chief characters constantly speak in literary quotations. The purpose is to show that it is impossible for these characters to see the world except through literary references. Now, in chapter 57, describing an automobile trip in the hills, the translation reads "the horizon became more vast, at every curve the peaks grew, some crowned by little villages: we glimpsed endless vistas." But, after "endless vistas" the Italian text went on: "al di la della siepe, come osservava Diotallevi." If these words had been translated, literally "beyond the hedge, as Diotallevi remarked," the English-language reader would have lost something, for "al di la della siepe" is a reference to the most beautiful poem of Giacomo Leopardi, "L'infinito," which every Italian reader knows by heart. The quotation appears at that point not because I wanted to tell the reader there was a hedge anywhere nearby, but because I wanted to show how Diotallevi could experience the landscape only by linking it to his experience of the poem. I told my translators that the hedge was not important, nor the reference to Leopardi, but it was important to have a literary reference at any cost. In fact, William Weaver's translation reads: "We glimpsed endless vistas. Like Darien," Diotallevi remarked..." This brief allusion to the Keats sonnet is a good example of target-oriented translation.

A source-oriented translator in a language I do not know may ask me why I have used a certain expression, or (if he understood it from the start) he may explain to me why, in his language, such a thing cannot be said. Even then I try to take part (if only from outside) in a translation that is at once source and target-oriented.

As many know, this novel -- written in Russian, of course -- begins with a long dialogue in French. I have no idea how many Russian readers in Tolstoy's day understood French; the aristocrats surely did because this French dialogue is meant, in fact, to depict the customs of aristocratic Russian society. Perhaps Tolstoy took it for granted that, in his day, those who did not know French were not even able to read Russian. Or else he wanted the non-French-speaking reader to understand that the aristocrats of the Napoleonic period were, in fact, so remote from Russian national life that they spoke in an incomprehensible fashion. Today if you re-read those pages, you will realize that it is not important to understand what those characters are saying, because they speak of trivial things. What is important is to understand that they are saying those things in French. A problem that has always fascinated me is this: How would you translate the first chapter of War And Peace into French? The reader reads a book in French and in it some of the characters are speaking French; nothing strange about that. If the translator adds a note to the dialogue saying en francais dans le text, it is of scant help: the effect is still lost. Perhaps, to achieve that effect, the aristocrats (in the French translation) should speak English. I am glad I did not write War And Peace and am not obliged to argue with my French translator.

As an author, I have learned a great deal from sharing the work of my translators. I am talking about my "academic" works as well as my novels. In the case of philosophical and linguistic works, when the translator cannot understand (and clearly translate) a certain page, it means that my thinking was murky. Many times, after having faced the job of translation, I have revised the second Italian edition of my book; not only from the point of view of its style but also from the point of view of ideas. Sometimes you write something in your own language A, and the translator says: "If I translate that into my language B, it will not make sense." He could be mistaken. But if, after long discussion, you realize that the passage would not make sense in language B, it will follow that it never made sense in language A to begin with.

This doesn't mean that, above a text written in language A there hovers a mysterious entity that is its Sense, which would be the same in any language, something like an ideal text written in what Walter Benjamin called Reine Sprache (The Pure language). Too good to be true. In that case it would only be a matter of isolating this Pure language and the work of translation (even of
a page of Shakespeare) could be done by computer.

The job of translation is a trial and error process, very similar to what happens in an Oriental bazaar when you are buying a carpet. The merchant asks 100, you offer 10 and after an hour of bargaining you agree on 50.

Naturally, in order to believe that the negotiation has been a success you must have fairly precise ideas about this basically imprecise phenomenon called translation. In theory, different languages are impossible to hold to one standard; it cannot be said that the English "house" is truly and completely the synonym of the French "maison." But in theory no form of perfect communication exists. And yet, for better or worse, ever since the advent of Homo sapiens, we have managed to communicate. Ninety percent (I believe) of War And Peace's readers have read the book in translation and yet if you set a Chinese, an Englishman, and an Italian to discussing War And Peace, not only will all agree that Prince Andrej dies, but, despite many interesting and differing nuances of meaning, all will be prepared to agree on the recognition of certain moral principles expressed by Tolstoy. I am sure the various interpretations would not exactly coincide, but neither would the interpretations that three English-speaking readers might provide of the same Wordsworth poem.

In the course of working with translators, you reread your original text, you discover its possible interpretations, and it sometimes happens -- as I have said -- that you want to rewrite it. I have not rewritten my two novels, but there is one place which, after its translation, I would have gladly rewritten. It is the dialogue in Foucault's Pendulum in which Diotallevi says: "God created the world by speaking. He didn't send a telegram." And Belbo replies:"Fiat lux. Stop."
But in the original Belbo said: "Fiat lux. Stop. Segue lettera" ("Fiat lux. Stop. Letter follows.") "Letter follows" is a standard expression used in telegrams (or at least it used to be standard, before the fax machine came into existence). At that point in the Italian text, Casaubon said: "Ai Tessalonicesi, immagino." (To the Thessalonians, I suppose.) It was a sequence of witty remarks, somewhat sophomoric, and the joke lay in the fact that Casaubon was suggesting that, after having created the world by telegram, God would send one of Saint Paul's epistles. But the play on words works only in Italian, in which both the posted letter and the Saint's epistle are called lettera. In English the text had to be changed. Belbo says only "Fiat lux. Stop." and Casaubon comments "Epistle follows." Perhaps the joke becomes a bit more ultraviolet and the reader has to work a little harder to understand what's going on in the minds of the characters, but the short circuit between Old and New Testament is more effective. Here, if I were rewriting the original novel, I would alter that dialogue.

Sometimes the author can only trust in Divine Providence. I will never be able to I collaborate fully on a Japanese translation of my work (though I have tried). It is hard for me to understand the thought processes of my "target." For that matter I always wonder what I am really reading, when I look at the translation of a Japanese poem, and I presume Japanese readers have the same experience when reading me. And yet I know that, when I read the translation of Japanese poem, I grasp something of that thought process that is different from mine. If I read a haiku after having read some Zen Buddhist koans, I can perhaps understand why the simple mention of the moon high over the lake should give me emotions analogous to and yet different from those that an English romantic poet conveys to me. Even in these cases a minimum of collaboration between translator and author can work. I no longer remember into which Slavic language someone was translating The Name of the Rose, but we were wondering what the reader would get from the many passages in Latin. Even an American reader who has not studied Latin still knows it was the language of the medieval ecclesiastical world and so catches a whiff of the Middle Ages. And further, if he reads De Pentagono Salomonis he can recognize pentagon and Solomon. But for a Slavic reader these Latin phrases and names, transliterated into the Cyrillic alphabet, suggest nothing.

If, at the beginning of War And Peace, the American reader finds "Eh bien, mon prince... " he can guess that the person being addressed is a prince. But if the same dialogue appears at the beginning of a Chinese translation (in an incomprehensible Latin alphabet or worse expressed in Chinese ideograms) what will the reader in Peking understand? The Slavic translator and I decided to use, instead of Latin, the ancient ecclesiastical Slavonic of the medieval Orthodox church. In that way the reader would feel the same sense of distance, the same religious atmosphere, though understanding only vaguely what was being said.

Thank God I am not a poet, because the problem becomes more dramatic in translating poetry, an art where thought is determined by words, and if you change the language, you change the thought. And yet there are excellent examples of translated poetry produced by a collaboration between author and translator. Often the result is a new creation. One text very close to poetry because of its linguistic complexity is Joyce's Finnegans Wake. Now, the Anna Livia Plurabelle chapter - when it was still in the form of an early draft -- was translated into Italian with Joyce himself collaborating. The translation is markedly different from the original English. It is not a translation. It is as if Joyce had rewritten his text in Italian. And yet one French critic has said that to understand that chapter properly (in English) it would be advisable to first read that Italian draft.

Perhaps the Pure Language does not exist, but pitting one language against another is a splendid adventure, and it is not necessarily true, as the Italian saying goes, that the translator is always a traitor. Provided that the author takes part in this admirable treason.

June 16, 2007

Racy ad to be removed from flight path


A giant silhouette of a naked pole dancer painted on a field beneath Gatwick Airport's flight path is disturbing the British countryside.

The 9,300 square metre advertisement is nearly invisible from the ground, but can be seen by airline passengers, Tandridge District Council spokeswoman Giuseppina Valenza said today.

She said the ad was painted on the field without proper permission and that the council would take legal action if it was not removed.

Sports Media Gaming Ltd, the company behind the ad, said the council had no grounds for removing it. "I think they're unsure about their own regulations to be honest," director Stephen Pearson said. "We're not going to remove it at all."

This is not the first time that the company's ads have appeared near the airport.

In 2005, an ad for Lynx deodorant featuring a man fondling two naked women was washed off a nearby field after Unilever PLC decided to pull it, Pearson said.

The Campaign to Protect Rural England expressed disgust with the latest ad.

"It sets such a nasty precedent, using our landscapes just for advertisement," said Paul Miner, a planning campaigner.

How to Stop Worrying and Learn to Love the Internet

This piece first appeared in the News Review section of The Sunday Times on August 29th 1999.

Douglas Adams

A couple of years or so ago I was a guest on Start The Week, and I was authoritatively informed by a very distinguished journalist that the whole Internet thing was just a silly fad like ham radio in the fifties, and that if I thought any different I was really a bit naïve. It is a very British trait – natural, perhaps, for a country which has lost an empire and found Mr Blobby – to be so suspicious of change.

But the change is real. I don’t think anybody would argue now that the Internet isn’t becoming a major factor in our lives. However, it’s very new to us. Newsreaders still feel it is worth a special and rather worrying mention if, for instance, a crime was planned by people ‘over the Internet.’ They don’t bother to mention when criminals use the telephone or the M4, or discuss their dastardly plans ‘over a cup of tea,’ though each of these was new and controversial in their day.

Then there’s the peculiar way in which certain BBC presenters and journalists (yes, Humphrys Snr., I’m looking at you) pronounce internet addresses. It goes ‘www DOT … bbc DOT… co DOT… uk SLASH… today SLASH…’ etc., and carries the implication that they have no idea what any of this new-fangled stuff is about, but that you lot out there will probably know what it means.

I suppose earlier generations had to sit through all this huffing and puffing with the invention of television, the phone, cinema, radio, the car, the bicycle, printing, the wheel and so on, but you would think we would learn the way these things work, which is this:

1) everything that’s already in the world when you’re born is just normal;

2) anything that gets invented between then and before you turn thirty is incredibly exciting and creative and with any luck you can make a career out of it;

3) anything that gets invented after you’re thirty is against the natural order of things and the beginning of the end of civilisation as we know it until it’s been around for about ten years when it gradually turns out to be alright really.

Apply this list to movies, rock music, word processors and mobile phones to work out how old you are.

This subjective view plays odd tricks on us, of course. For instance, ‘interactivity’ is one of those neologisms that Mr Humphrys likes to dangle between a pair of verbal tweezers, but the reason we suddenly need such a word is that during this century we have for the first time been dominated by non-interactive forms of entertainment: cinema, radio, recorded music and television. Before they came along all entertainment was interactive: theatre, music, sport – the performers and audience were there together, and even a respectfully silent audience exerted a powerful shaping presence on the unfolding of whatever drama they were there for. We didn’t need a special word for interactivity in the same way that we don’t (yet) need a special word for people with only one head.

I expect that history will show ‘normal’ mainstream twentieth century media to be the aberration in all this. ‘Please, miss, you mean they could only just sit there and watch? They couldn’t do anything? Didn’t everybody feel terribly isolated or alienated or ignored?’

‘Yes, child, that’s why they all went mad. Before the Restoration.’

‘What was the Restoration again, please, miss?’

‘The end of the twentieth century, child. When we started to get interactivity back.’

Because the Internet is so new we still don’t really understand what it is. We mistake it for a type of publishing or broadcasting, because that’s what we’re used to. So people complain that there’s a lot of rubbish online, or that it’s dominated by Americans, or that you can’t necessarily trust what you read on the web. Imagine trying to apply any of those criticisms to what you hear on the telephone. Of course you can’t ‘trust’ what people tell you on the web anymore than you can ‘trust’ what people tell you on megaphones, postcards or in restaurants. Working out the social politics of who you can trust and why is, quite literally, what a very large part of our brain has evolved to do. For some batty reason we turn off this natural scepticism when we see things in any medium which require a lot of work or resources to work in, or in which we can’t easily answer back – like newspapers, television or granite. Hence ‘carved in stone.’ What should concern us is not that we can’t take what we read on the internet on trust – of course you can’t, it’s just people talking – but that we ever got into the dangerous habit of believing what we read in the newspapers or saw on the TV – a mistake that no one who has met an actual journalist would ever make. One of the most important things you learn from the internet is that there is no ‘them’ out there. It’s just an awful lot of ‘us’.

Of course, there’s a great deal wrong with the Internet. For one thing, only a minute proportion of the world’s population is so far connected. I recently heard some pundit on the radio arguing that the internet would always be just another unbridgeable gulf between the rich and the poor for the following reasons – that computers would always be expensive in themselves, that you had to buy lots of extras like modems, and you had to keep upgrading your software. The list sounds impressive but doesn’t stand up to a moment’s scrutiny. The cost of powerful computers, which used to be around the level of jet aircraft, is now down amongst the colour television sets and still dropping like a stone. Modems these days are mostly built-in, and standalone models have become such cheap commodities that companies, like Hayes, whose sole business was manufacturing them are beginning to go bust.. Internet software from Microsoft or Netscape is famously free. Phone charges in the UK are still high but dropping. In the US local calls are free. In other words the cost of connection is rapidly approaching zero, and for a very simple reason: the value of the web increases with every single additional person who joins it. It’s in everybody’s interest for costs to keep dropping closer and closer to nothing until every last person on the planet is connected.

Another problem with the net is that it’s still ‘technology’, and ‘technology’, as the computer scientist Bran Ferren memorably defined it, is ‘stuff that doesn’t work yet.’ We no longer think of chairs as technology, we just think of them as chairs. But there was a time when we hadn’t worked out how many legs chairs should have, how tall they should be, and they would often ‘crash’ when we tried to use them. Before long, computers will be as trivial and plentiful as chairs (and a couple of decades or so after that, as sheets of paper or grains of sand) and we will cease to be aware of the things. In fact I’m sure we will look back on this last decade and wonder how we could ever have mistaken what we were doing with them for ‘productivity.’

But the biggest problem is that we are still the first generation of users, and for all that we may have invented the net, we still don’t really get it. In ‘The Language Instinct’, Stephen Pinker explains the generational difference between pidgin and creole languages. A pidgin language is what you get when you put together a bunch of people – typically slaves – who have already grown up with their own language but don’t know each others’. They manage to cobble together a rough and ready lingo made up of bits of each. It lets them get on with things, but has almost no grammatical structure at all.

However, the first generation of children born to the community takes these fractured lumps of language and transforms them into something new, with a rich and organic grammar and vocabulary, which is what we call a Creole. Grammar is just a natural function of children’s brains, and they apply it to whatever they find.

The same thing is happening in communication technology. Most of us are stumbling along in a kind of pidgin version of it, squinting myopically at things the size of fridges on our desks, not quite understanding where email goes, and cursing at the beeps of mobile phones. Our children, however, are doing something completely different. Risto Linturi, research fellow of the Helsinki Telephone Corporation, quoted in Wired magazine, describes the extraordinary behaviour kids in the streets of Helsinki, all carrying cellphones with messaging capabilities. They are not exchanging important business information, they’re just chattering, staying in touch. "We are herd animals," he says. "These kids are connected to their herd – they always know where it’s moving." Pervasive wireless communication, he believes will "bring us back to behaviour patterns that were natural to us and destroy behaviour patterns that were brought about by the limitations of technology."

We are natural villagers. For most of mankind’s history we have lived in very small communities in which we knew everybody and everybody knew us. But gradually there grew to be far too many of us, and our communities became too large and disparate for us to be able to feel a part of them, and our technologies were unequal to the task of drawing us together. But that is changing.

Interactivity. Many-to-many communications. Pervasive networking. These are cumbersome new terms for elements in our lives so fundamental that, before we lost them, we didn’t even know to have names for them.


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June 12, 2007

The accidental discovery of Champagne


The history of Champagne dates to about 1700 AD and a monk cellarmaster at the Abbey of Hautvillers near the city of Reims, the "capital" of the Champagne region. As the story goes, a monk named Dom Perignon was making wine for his colleagues when, unbeknownst to him, he failed to complete the fermentation before bottling and corking the wine. During the cold winter months the fermentation remained dormant, but when spring arrived the contents of the sealed bottles began to warm and fermentation resumed producing carbon dioxide that was trapped in the bottle. Later that spring Dom noticed that bottles of wine in the cellar were exploding, so he opened one that was intact and drank, declaring "Come quickly! I'm drinking stars!" Thus, Champagne was born and named after the region where it was discovered. Today Moet & Chandon make a Champagne named in honour of Dom Perignon, the serendipitous inventor of Champagne. A bronze statute of the famous monk stands outside Moet & Chandon in Epernay, France.

June 07, 2007

Is there life out there? Almost definitely, say UK scientists


Intelligent extra-terrestrials almost certainly exist on distant planets beyond our solar system, leading British astronomers told the government yesterday.

The scientists expect that the first evidence of primitive alien life, such as microbes and vegetation, will emerge within 10 years, with more substantial finds following future space missions.

The experts, from high-ranking UK universities and research institutes, were gathered in London by the science minister, Malcolm Wicks, to describe the latest advances in the search for distant, habitable planets capable of harbouring life.

A recent revolution in technology means astronomers can now spot Earth-like planets orbiting faraway stars, raising the chances of alien life being found. By analysing reflected light, it is becoming possible to find any that may host vegetation and breathable atmospheres.

"Twenty years ago we only had one solar system to study and that's the one we live in. But since then, there's been an explosion in the number of planets outside our solar system that we've been able to detect," said Professor Keith Mason, chief executive of the Science and Technology Facilities Council and former head of space physics at University College London. Some 200 planets have been detected orbiting stars other than the sun.

Scientists this year announced the discovery of a warm, rocky "second Earth" circling a distant star called Gliese 581, about 20 light years away in the constellation of Libra. Crucial measurements of the planet's surface temperature range revealed it was able to hold liquid water, believed to be a prerequisite for life.

In 2015, the European Space Agency will launch a mission called Darwin, a cluster of four orbiting telescopes that will scour the heavens for life-bearing planets. For five years, the telescopes will peer at 500 stars and conduct spectral analyses of the 50 most promising planets it detects.

"You can be pretty sure that if there's life out there, we've a good chance of being able to say so," said Glenn White, head of astrophysics at the Open University and a scientist on the Darwin project.

Our own existence may already have come to the attention of any aliens who are peering in our direction across the depths of space. Since the advent of radio waves, stray signals have leaked from Earth and travelled as far as 80 light years into space, far beyond the closest stars.

"If there's intelligent life out there, they sure as hell know we're here," said Michael Perryman, an astrophysicist at the European Space Agency.

The seven scientists, who included Ian Stevens, head of extrasolar planets at Birmingham University, and Suzanne Aigrain, of Exeter University, all believed that life existed elsewhere. Only Dr Perryman believed humans to be the sole intelligent beings in the universe.

-- By Ian Sample, Science Correspondent - The Guardian

June 05, 2007

The (fading) legend of Tendulkar. And what next for Team India?


The legend began in the Pakistani winter of '88-'89. Wasim, Imran, Waqar and most famously, Abdul Qadir had all been impressed by this new Bombay whiz-kid. The legend grew in imminence at Perth and Headingley - the purists dazzled by impeccable centuries against quality attacks. Flourishing through the mid-90s, it hit its zenith in '98 what with the Little Master winning matches on his own and tonking the likes of Warne, Olonga and whoever else with the temerity to bowl, all over the park. And then, it began going downhill.

In the summer of '98 and the Sharjah Sandstorm behind him, Sachin was 24 and audiences (and hapless bowlers) world-wide, were scared to contemplate the possibilities. The innocuous, the deadly, the respectable and the magical - were all dispatched with equal indifference to the boundary fences that Sachin fancied. Runs and centuries flew off the wide blade and the usually reclusive Don Bradman was publicly airing his admiration for the other li'l fella.

Since, albeit laced with a Test average of 56 and 18 centuries for matches between Oct 98 till date, it hasn't been the same. Gone are the poise, the confidence (bordering on arrogance), sterling footwork, masterful ability to play stinging pace and a self-belief to challenge, to excel and win. All in a phased manner, of course and a few bright exceptions - a Chennai '01 century against the Aussies, a discplined double hundred at the SCG (240 runs without a single scoring shot through cover!) and the World Cup 2003 (where he was Man of the Series) spring forth to mind.

The period starting Jan '05 till the beginning of the Bangladesh series have yielded 789 runs at an avg. of 34 with one century of 109 (record-breaking 36th) scored against the Lankans. Hardly tidy, given the class. So why can't we entertain thoughts of dropping him from the test team? Although an average of 37 in the shorter format in the same period does not merit the same question, one does tend to think that the ODIs are better off played by the young (especially in the wake of a disastrous World Cup campaign). So what does the road ahead look like? And should Sachin be part of the trip?

Amidst silly tours to Ireland, Bangladesh and whatever else takes the BCCI's fancy, there is the serious business of taking on England in their backyard for a 4 test series and 7(!!) ODIS followed by a gruelling tour of Australia at the end of the year. I firmly believe there is nothing to be gained out of playing Sachin - by him or by the team.

I'd rather have Yuvraj and the younger co. getting to know what it is like to face Harmison on a balmy Headingley morning, or a Lee scorcher on Boxing Day at the MCG. VVS Laxman, that supreme artist, frequently misses out on the playing XI on account of the other Big Boys refusing to vacate their probably undeserving positions in the team. And what point would Sachin prove to anybody by spanking an Aussie attack sans McGrath and Warne?

Ian Chappell recently quoted that Tendulkar should retire if he cannot conjure his attacking game when India need it most. Stodgy batting was never a Sachin specialty, but to see him at it again and again, against modest-to-pitiful attacks in situations that demand skill, nerve and aggression has been utterly painful.

When the Master gets his stumps a clean-up from the likes of Dilhara Fernando in a critical World Cup game, and an unknown in Mortaza gets him to jump and weave on placid Bangladeshi pitches, it's time questions were asked. If anything, Sachin could do a Ganguly - by going back into the hut for a while before coming out fired and hungry. Having said that, Ganguly could do with a second stint in the hut too.

There is a theory which suggests that sides perform better without struggling greats in their ranks. The rationale being that players tend to give the struggling greats as much space as possible, consequently disturbing their own game. India has surely done better in the last 2-3 years as a One-Day team without Sachin in the playing XI, than with him. Players tend to play with more responsibility, a flatter organizational structure can be put in place and there is more purpose and intent about the way they go about their game. Sadly, these are the very ingredients that make a successful team and are missing in the Indian make-up.

I'd rather have them both - Sachin and Sourav retiring from all forms of the game. There isn't much that these two can offer apart from the over-rated experience factor. Fitness, finesse and hunger are in scarce supply and Indian cricket does not stand to gain anything substantial from playing these two greats - apart from delaying the inevitable and possibly stumbling upon short-lived scraps of joy. We run an even bigger risk of stifling fringe talents (a la Kapil and Srinath) and compromising any sense of optimism in the ranks.

It is time Sachin hung up his boots. Even if he does find the touch of yore. If not, the Indian cricketing gravy train would do well to leave him behind and make way for a younger man - who would surely be not as good, but might relish the opportunity more.

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June 04, 2007

16 Reasons why MAN rocks!

As if we need to justify our position at the very top of the food chain; because we solve problems to the best of our abilities, and more often than not - that's good enough.

We may have enjoyed the privilege of having Newton, Einstein, Edison and co. demystifying the universe for us, but man's intellect, ingenuity and sense for innovation are greatly under-rated.

To the Human Spirit - in overcoming everyday life.